Acid is not a monday night drug
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Randomize
