I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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