i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
