Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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