is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
