I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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