Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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