I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
