so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
