How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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