hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
