at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
