Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Boobs speak an international language.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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