Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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