scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
whose parrot is this?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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