That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
