it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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