Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
