is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
