I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
