Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Define "chronic" masturbator.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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