Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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