She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
