I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
