Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
