I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
