Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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