no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
