Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
