also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
only if we run a train.
done.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
