Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
