I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
