ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize