I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
