During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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