Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
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