dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize
