You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
