If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
