bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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