We won't sleep together?
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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