I just saw a hot homeless man
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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