I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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