i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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