girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
