Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
