we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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