It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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