Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
