Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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