My room smells like vodka and shame
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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