its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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