you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i love accidental penises.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
