its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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